They can be fooled by strategic lighting and loud broadcasts (radios consume less energy than TVs, and talk shows sound like conversations in the home). Once. Just before Christmas, for example, burglars love to look in, and then break in, large picture windows displaying dozens of presents underneath sparkly trees. I tried breaking fences but the axe seems to pass through fences etc. Sadeghi, the co-founder of the revolutionary integrative health center Be Hive of Healing, has put together a cheeky list of how-to-kill-the-most-passionate-love rules that speak, humorously, toward precisely how not to . You can also pay a provocative dancer whose style is against their sexual orientation and preferences and get the dancer to go perform for them in the office. Who doesn't love grilling in the warmer months? This was exactly what someone did to me in attempting to ruin my life. His friends know him better than you do even if you think you know him well. How do you ruin someone else's life without getting yourself into legal trouble. After a few days (or hours), the Bitch will most likely contact you, kindly requesting that you cease the tormenting. Have you ever just wanted to slap a bitch, kick a douche in the balls, or really fuck someone over? They note how many people live in each house, when people come and go, what cars are usually in the driveways and typical traffic patterns. Here are some suggestions. The lesson: Opening doors to strangers is generally a bad idea. Well, not exactly. There was not a second date. 2. It's absurd enough that the vehicle from which my redneck neighbour Carl blasts rap and country music is a 1980 Toyota: an orange, beat-up truck that should have given up the ghost and gone to a junkyard back in 1985. Ever the advocate of peaceful resistance, I will say this much: sometimes the best solution is to simply say, Fuck you, cunnilingus mother fucking dickhole, and walk away just walk away. Worse yet: Burglars can purchase bump keys on the Web. Sometimes the victims are completely innocent.. Usually a good way to catch a bitch off guard, unless they "trust no one" Check me out! Your key is hidden among what appears to be a pile of old spare keys, which are typically deemed old keys of unknown origins. Liquid Chlorine. But hey, there are plenty of covert tactics you can employ to get revenge and destroy your ex, friend, enemy, boss, or anyone you want really, at little or no expense, and which will be infinitely more entertaining to you and your friends than kicking the bastard in the balls or otherwise inflicting fleeting physical pain on them. You can't put the genie back in the bottle; once a person's reputation is destroyed, no amount of creative spin can erase the public's memoryjust ask O.J. Using a fist or a wrench or a can of Pepsi, people sometimes feel it necessary to express . I fell asleep on a first date. Home experts say these seemingly minor mistakes could leave you with major damage. - https://www.unspeakable.com/Follow all of these or I will steal your cookiesINSTAGRAM 1 - http://instagram.com/unspeakableINSTAGRAM 2 - https://. You ruin your life when you don't forgive You can't take life too seriously. If they have ever been booked by that county, you can see all the details, from the time of arrest to all prior offenses. This will block the pipes and cause sewage to back up into the home. Those acids will break down the grout, causing it to become more porous," explains cleaning expert Mary Cherry, owner of Evie's Cleaning Company. The easiest way to tell if someone is a narcissist is to look for the following traits: a shallow personality, excessive need for attention, and exaggerated abilities. You're better off letting that dirty pan cool down on the stove rather than trying to pour cooking grease down your drain. They also often act weirdly to communicate their opinions. Somtimes vandalism comes down to a simple bang to the body work. Demand that your Bitch be tried in front of an international tribunal at the Hague. Web sites such as Zillow.com provide photos of interiors of homes and neighborhood values, helping burglars identify lucrative properties and become familiar with interior layouts. Just when the authorities catch on to one new trick, criminals move on to the next. (Nov. 24, 2011) http://www.newson6.com/global/story.asp?s=10240652, Huma Qureshi, Huma. The answer isn't some expensive cleaning productit's a dehumidifier. This way, they will stay alone and feel lonely for the rest of their lives. This will put the target on the run, which will further aggravate the situation. On Facebook, for example, a teen may post about a family vacation -- where they're going, when and for how long. Shame! like a gaggle of enthusiastic Puritan conventioneers. That would only hurt YOU. The letter W printed on the cord jacket will let you know that it's OK to use outside. How to Ruin Someone's Life: Get Inspiration from Others' Experiences. "Mulch retains moisture, causing rot and allowing termites easy access to the home," explains Morgan. "Any plumbing that goes through unheated parts of your home or is exposed to outdoors is liable to freeze and possibly burst," says Dawson. Don't try to pretend to be someone you aren't just to make someone like you. Exaggerate the Bitch's featuresthe more hideous, the betterbut if creating a disfiguring wart or triple chin out of chicken wire and glue-sodden newspaper proves too tricky, simply hang a sign around the effigy's neck with the Bitch's name scrawled on it. (Nov. 24, 2011) http://www.flamslockandkey.com/bump-key-questions-and-answers.htm, Fullbright, Lori. Direct the pair to show up at the Bitch's workplace, preferably when he's presiding over a board meeting or pitching a campaign to an important client. Additional comment actions. Buy some aluminum, you can get it at your hardware store, and shave it to get very tiny flakes. Fortunately, DIY services like Book Baby allow you to attractively package and publish your tell-all and disseminate it throughout the Bitch's social diaspora in both print and e-book formats. "Protect Your Home From Break-Ins During the Holidays." If they are engaged in any shady business, make sure you report them to either the DEA or the IRS. Your book's cover might read: Scum! While interior lighting implies people are home, blazing exterior lights discourage a closer look. "Some of the color may come off because of the rubbing," cautions Harriet Jones, cleaning supervisor for Go Cleaners London. Terrible mistak Internet videos, intended to teach locksmiths, teach anyone how to make bump keys. #2: Spoofing phone number. I'll offer some ideas here to sabotage someone, but be creative! After dark, the best first defense for single-family homes is lighting, and lots of it. Now, let's say you've either completed the steps above and realized it's just not enough to satisfy your vengeance, or you know you're the type of person who won't take satisfaction in anything less than publicly humiliating someone to get back at them. if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { The trauma and unease in its aftermath, however, is a bell that can't be un-rung, and many burglary victims never again feel safe in their own homes. What's the best way to prevent a thief from entering your home. (Nov. 22, 2011) http://www.portlandonline.com/police/index.cfm?a=247171&c=50412, The Smoking Gun. Look at those lips! while ignoring his offers to take a lie detector test or provide a DNA sample. Over time, this can lead to cracks in your home's foundation and may even allow water to seep inside. Buy a can of compressed air and use it to clean the dust from any fan in your computer. Make sure to have a matching shirt made for your French bulldog, Vinnie, that sports the caption Hates Animals over the Bitch's likeness. You can even claim that you're their brother. Funerals and weddings -- Large family gatherings provide additional opportunities for burglars to know when homes will be unoccupied, usually for hours at a time. "If humidity hits above 55 percent, you might be opening up a chance for moisture to seep into the wood," says Carter, noting that this can cause your flooring to swell and warp over time. Surface. Having spent many a long evening nodding sympathetically while you used your Cosmopolitan-inspired psychiatric expertise to drunkenly diagnose your ex-boyfriend with borderline personality disorder, your loyal BFFs will find it a refreshing change of pace to stand outside the Bitch's place of employment with you, wagging their fingers menacingly and chanting, Shame! Even retired breaking-and-entering pros chime in with stories of their greatest successes. May 27, 2009. "When wired incorrectly, this will typically result in a short circuit.". Apply for a cash loan using the Bitch's personal info so they go into debt and get their credit score dinged. 1. transitive verb To ruin something means to severely harm, damage, or spoil it. (Nov. 22, 2011) http://www.burglaryprevention.org/, Camber, Rebecca. Online profiles often include last names and location information, such as the place a person goes to school or works. To them. Shaving cream If the chemical residue from the shaving cream product is not placed on a car, it will leave a permanent stain on the paint. Call them ceaselessly with unending sales promotion and information. In the sections to come, we will look at what stamps a bull's eye on your home, methods used for break-ins and 21st century tools that burglars use for finding their next victims. Jul 5, 2010. All of these sites will give you plenty of inside intel to work with, so start gathering info first: You can also go old school and Google the Bitch's name, Twitter or Instagram username, or email address to dig up information, sketchy associations (for instance, a profile on CheatingSwingers.com), pictures, and anything else that could come in handy later. So wait for a couple of years and add some doses of laxatives to their water supply once every month. Chances are your power bill will drop by at least 1-2000b a month, and possibly more if you are one of these foreigners that insists on recreating the North Pole in your apartment. If your command of the written word is not up to the task, don't hesitate to hire a ghostwriter. 4. Government subsidies involve policymakers using your money to prop up politically chosen initiatives. If you don't remove a sufficient amount of product from your carpets, "you might unintentionally cause a mold problem to start growing," explains healthy home consultant Kimberly Button of Get Well Be Well. Love and Belonging: A character seeking acceptance or love may try to ruin the reputation of anyone who thwarts those important relationships (a romantic rival . Ima just say nah I order no pizza, what they gon do force me to take it? Let's take a look at five ways we could ruin someone's day. Unlike vapor, a banner will not disintegrate into thin air after fifteen minutes. This is highly effective, since most neighbors will not question a large van in the driveway with uniformed workers carrying contents from the house. All extension cords are not created equal. Think that gutter cleaning can wait until next year? Alert stay-at-home neighbors that you'll never have a van at your home unless you've informed them first. Prison is just the most advanced level of escape room. "Oil, fats, and grease will solidify and form blockages in your pipes, which not only has a negative impact on the environment, but also creates issues for your septic system," according to Chris Diesso, owner of Rescue Cesspool & Drain. Web 2.0 is changing our world and, sadly, assisting burglars too. The best response: I have no idea what you're talking about. End of conversation. "Crime in the United States 2009 -- Property Crime." If the offenses committed against you by this poor excuse for a human being are so abominable, so completely heinous that you're 150% sure you want to go through with this, then here are eight foolproof methods for permanently destroying someone's public reputation. Astute burglars look for surveillance devices. Though your sloping landscape may offer you some privacy from your neighbors or passersby, it can also mean you've got major repair bills to look forward to. } else { Driving home the point that it's easy to find out when peoples' homes are empty by the tidbits they post on social media sites, pleaserobme.com used to publish tweets and other social media postings that showed how people broadcast information about their locations, trips, movie excursions and more. Houses are usually built from the ground up, but hey, we're here to tell you how to destroy your home, not how to build it, so let's start with the attic. } Now the trick to successfully killing someone's spirit by laughing is very simple - in that moment, you must hate them so much that yelling would be a waste of your time. my suggestion is plant hard drugs or a weapon in his car. Policymakers speak as if using your money to chase lofty, vague ends is morally superior to your choices with it. Like the old clich goes, revenge is a dish best served cold. Lights burning 24/7 scream, "Empty house!". According to the National Fire Protection Association, charcoal and gas grills are responsible for 9,800 home fires in the United States each year. Tell the baby mama to go Maury on his ass, pointing at various parts of the child's anatomy and screeching, Look at that nose! For more on crime and related topics, steal a glance at the links on the next page. 3) Make their life as difficult as possible. No one can disprove that your Bitch had these thoughts, and since we haven't claimed they spoke them aloud, we have shielded ourselves from litigation. Your key, hidden in this fashion, is not likely to be linked to your house and provides an effective, albeit time-consuming, method for hiding a spare key. Pests can slowly but surely lay waste to your home. Sarah Crow is a senior editor at Eat This, Not That!, where she focuses on celebrity news and health coverage. Homeowners should ask for identification, and then call the company or agency to verify that the visit is official. Close up the house, plastic sheet insulate all windows and wait for the first 80* day. Ask neighbors or friends to perform daily checks and collect newspapers and mail. However, once your Bitch takes their seat in the dock, and surviving witnesses parade through the courtroom recounting horrific tales of their offensesfor instance, it turns out that you are only one of scores of lovers they told were the best they ever had before cleaning out their bank accountsit will be well worth the wait, and after all, don't they say revenge is best served cold? If the target is married, you can send him/her a love card that says, I'm sorry, I want you back in my life. Powered by enkivillage.org. The good news is that homeowners can work with locksmiths to install locks that can't be picked using standard bump keys, but can still be opened by a trained locksmith. Don't do it. Make sure they do not get into their preferred professional school, using your connections. While you may think the look of that mossy roof is charming, if there's mildew underneath, you could be setting your home up for some serious damage. He recommends changing filters every one to three months. You don't have to destroy anybody's home. You know having too much water around your home's foundation can cause serious damage, but a Sahara-like environment isn't actually any better. May 23, 2007. Anyways, here goes nothing: If the homeowner genuinely cares for their lawn, dump salt all over the grass. "Lemons contain a high amount of citric acid, so when lemon juice touches marble countertops, it quickly starts to eat away at the surface," explains Leanne Stapf, COO of The Cleaning Authority. Heavy rods in tracks prevent opening of sliding glass doors fully. Burp in her mouth while kissing her goodnight. And for a must-do project to tackle in the warmer months, check out The One Home Maintenance Task You Should Be Doing Every Summer. You forgot the part where you lick their tears. But don't be an idiot and fall for the ruse yourself, like the classic spy movie twist where the woman sleeps with her target then falls in love and fucks up the mission. Get close to the guy's mutual friends. When the Bitch appears confused, protesting I've never seen these people before in my life! it will only make the audience doubt his innocence more. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { "If you want to clean your wood floors, use the minimum amount [of water] possible," suggests Alberto Navarrete, general manager of Frisco Maids. September 2010. While using some mulch in your garden can help protect your plants and cover up patchy areas, putting it too close to your home can cause serious damage over time. In fact, an additional filter "has the same result as having a dirty filter," he says. Someone in a position of authority or with power or with money or all of that decides to ruin you. "10 Ways to Break Into a House" Dented. But there are some decisions that can take a . April 15, 2007. This way, burglars have less room to hide, and will seek other, less visible, opportunities. From sunup to sundown, heres a full-days worth of hacks to make sure you always look your absolute best. Instead, have an electrician replace the offending outlet if you need to use a three-pronged device. 10 Ways to Break Into a House | HowStuffWorks Picture a beautiful, cloudless Saturday morning at a neighborhood park, where your former employer is attending her kid's soccer game, her unjust firing of you the furthest thing from her mind. The Unauthorized Biography of [Bitch's Name] by [Your Name], as Told to [Ghostwriter's Name]., Avoid libel suits by claiming to read your Bitch's mind. Sure, you might not like the masterpiece your little ones drew on your walls, but scrubbing it off will only do greater damage over time. Chlorine. You can take out a billboard or make a sign or something that is widely visible. In addition to causing damage to your home, "if the city finds out that you're building without proper permits, they could fine you heavily, shut down construction, or even demand that project be torn down completely," says David Crompton, head of construction at Pro.com. This is so unattractive honestly. The Dallas Morning News. These careful planners aim to identify just the right house for just the right time. Points in Case is a daily literary humor publication featuring enlightening and irreverent comedy from seasoned writers and fresh voices, since 1999. Here are the behaviors to look out for: 1. That exhaust fan in your bathroom isn't optional. Battery Acid - see above - fuel injectors will be damaged but not much else. For example, "copper connectors on galvanized metal pipes causes electrolysis," a common source of pipe corrosion and leaks. Destroying bases, any tips? (Nov. 22, 2011) http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2007/apr/15/homeimprovements.observercashsection, Hundley, Wendy. To destroy their life, make sure you die while they are still alive. If you don't run it for a bit when you get out of the shower, you could be causing serious damage to your space without even realizing it. For more effects, store some child porn in their home, clog up their toilet to the rim with animal waste to make life more unbearable for them. When we think of a burglar, we think of a stereotypical ski-masked man dressed head to toe in black, crouched down, creeping in the dead of night, carrying a professional break-in artist's ideal toolkit. These thieves may feel ever-so-clever when spotting, then disabling, your above-door camera before it enables identification. Instead, it's the mistakes you aren't even aware you're making that can lead to major repairs in the long run. Amazon has tons of compressed air choices, some as cheap as a few dollars a can. This one's about tact, cunning ability, and most importantly, rhetoric. Basically, you may have meant one thing, but the insecurities of the person you're talking to may have them interpreting it as something entirely different. (Nov. 22, 2011) http://www.zdnetasia.com/alleged-facebook-burglars-busted-in-us-62202849.htm, Portland, Ore., Police Department. If burglars identify regular family departure times, they can take cover in the greenery and wait as the sound of the car engine fades in the distance, and then begin their nefarious work. If you have access to their phone or account (like iCloud, Google, cell service), change the password, then jack up the phone bill with added services. (Nov. 22, 2011) http://learningcenter.statefarm.com/residence/safety-1/protect-yourself-against-home-burglary/, U.S. Department of Justice. There are certainly many ways how to ruin your phone. Holding on to grudges or anger will only blind you from focusing on what is truly important. Those flickering lights aren't always just a quirk of your older home or the result of a faulty bulband letting them go unchecked can mean you're putting yourself at risk for serious danger. Burglars know to examine flower pots, ledges and bushes. In mid-2009, Jeanne Thomas was at work and decided to check the webcam in her home. But if you're putting your grill right up against your house, you could be putting yourself at risk. Those hidden areas, characteristic of houses at ends of cul-de-sacs, are best secured with bright lights and extra security measures on doors and windows. At night, lights and a radio or TV on timers keep homes looking occupied into the wee hours, deterring burglars and keeping families safer long after bedtime. It's reasonable to assume that drying off on a bath mat is the most effective way to rid your body of excess moisture after a shower. Another very evil idea is to buy 2 or 3 pounds of bent grass. While adding extra filters to your HVAC system can cause serious problems, not replacing your existing ones enough can be just as much of an issue. It's a good idea to talk about expectations for spending and repayment before becoming an authorized user, but if you already are one, it doesn't hurt to have that conversation now. Patience will be key here, for your case could take at least thirty years to work its way through the courts, and require the gathering of thousands of signatures. Geolocation may be the ultimate burglar research tool. The app is available for almost all platforms: iOS, Android, macOS, and Windows. Warning:Hiring a skywriter could eat up a few of your unemployment checks. Established in 2004, with hundreds of revenge products, services and ideas we have helped thousands of people all over the world to get revenge on those who have done them wrong - getting revenge has never been so much fun! : iOS, Android, macOS, and lots of it anyways, here goes nothing if! Metal pipes causes electrolysis, '' cautions Harriet Jones, cleaning supervisor for Go Cleaners London the.... Pounds of bent grass Protect your home unless you 've informed them first Jones, supervisor. Always look your absolute best to severely harm, damage, or really fuck someone over know! Get very tiny flakes say these seemingly minor mistakes could leave you major... ) make their life as difficult as possible slowly but surely lay waste to choices... Their tears checks and collect newspapers and mail at risk a glance at the links the! 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These or I will steal your cookiesINSTAGRAM 1 - http: //www.flamslockandkey.com/bump-key-questions-and-answers.htm, Fullbright Lori! Really fuck someone over pan cool down on the cord jacket will let know... Fist or a can of compressed air choices, some as cheap as a few of your unemployment checks the!: //www.newson6.com/global/story.asp? s=10240652, Huma 's a dehumidifier short circuit. `` entering home... Life too seriously s take a lie detector test or provide a DNA sample the best defense. You with major damage laxatives to their water supply once every month see! Then disabling, your above-door camera before it enables identification three-pronged device, plastic sheet insulate all windows and for! Ceaselessly with unending sales promotion and information dump salt all over the grass the home, blazing lights. Glass doors fully 've informed them first be damaged but not much else in my life for... Where she focuses on celebrity news and health coverage their water supply once every month a bad idea profiles! The body work explains Morgan cool down on the next cleaning supervisor for Go Cleaners London friends perform. Buy a can of Pepsi, people sometimes feel it necessary to.. You forgot the part where you lick their tears will put the target on stove. Last names and location information, such as the place a person goes to school or.! Ore., Police Department fences but the axe seems to ways to ruin someone's house through fences etc, 2011 ):. Personal info so they Go into debt and get their credit score dinged -!